Weekend Update

The weekend was spent mostly cleaning up the house from Christmas decorating. We did hit Lowe’s and helped clean out their Holiday isle – Everything 50% off! WooHoo! Hubby has gotten enough LED icicle lights to cover the whole house next year. And you can plug 25 strings of those suckers together…and they still use less electricity than other types of lights.

The pool filter popped its top – literally. I was off Tuesday, and I went to let the dogs out and there’s no water flowing in the pool, but the pump is running. I could hear it. Running out to the side of the house the ground is all wet (the pool water level was as low as it could go to the skimmer). The top of the filter housing had come off and I couldn’t get it back on. The hubby knew it was having problems and knew something would happen soon. Seems the threads are stripped from the pole that holds the top on. So we stopped by Pinch-A-Penny and Leslie’s yesterday to price the part and what each charged for installation. So far the water hasn’t turned green and the power bill will be lower for awhile.

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Warning: Massive rant ahead!

My mom is getting on our nerves in a big way. She’s been throwing attitude because she isn’t getting her way – something she thinks she is entitled to and I’m finally after many years getting really sick of it. It first started with her wanting to see the Candlelight Processional at Epcot. She wants the dinner package where you eat and get reserved seating. Well, she asks Hubby about this the weekend before Thanksgiving. She gives him dates she is free (she doesn’t work, just church volunteer stuff, so I can’t understand why she only had 4 days available). Hubby checks and says nothing is available. She is aghast. He tells her that bookings began around July and it’s incredibly popular. She still can’t understand why she can’t get in.

Of course, when you live in your own universe you don’t think ahead because you don’t think that there are others outside of your sphere who live and breath and do the same things. She just bought a $50,000 car because “I deserve a new car!” but will also complain that her husband doesn’t get as much work because the downturn in the economy. She’s retired from real estate, where she made her money. She often has told me she has earned her money and should enjoy it – said in such a way that comes out incredibly petulant.

She also wants to see the show when Hubby is singing in it. She acts as if she can hear him singing (despite the hundreds of others in the choir singing). And she always wants him to be at the dinner before hand, which he always tells he he can’t do because he has to be backstage at a certain hour. And she acts all disappointed. And she asks EVERY SINGLE YEAR the same things! She truly will not remember any info that doesn’t directly affect her universe.

Then she also asks about getting into Epcot for New Years Eve for her and some friends who will be in town. We tell her that we can’t get people in on blackout days. She then asks the same questions: what entertainment do they have? When are the fireworks? Etc, etc. Hubby and I get exasperated telling her the same things. And this woman does not have Alzheimer’s. She is not some elderly woman who is forgetful. She asked about dinner reservations in Epcot for NYE and we tell her that everything is booked this close to the Holidays. She called last night while we had friends over and Hubby was still talking to her when they left, telling her all the same stuff about NYE and what price for tickets he can get her. He said she was angry over what he was telling her. You see, her perfect evening of taking her friends to Epcot and showing them a fun time, and bragging about her son and his partner doing this all for them are ruined. She can still go but will not be getting in free and eating at Chefs de France.

Her husband is a nice guy but totally lets her control everything. So she’s happy because she gets everything her way. When he moved in with her, very little of his artwork and furniture got brought in. Really only the pieces that matched the decor.

She is quick to criticize anything she does not approve of. And she doesn’t think she is criticizing or nitpicking. She honestly believes what she thinks and tells people are the correct way to do something. Ever the eternal mother.

Earlier in the year a good friend of hers wrote her a letter telling my mom she could not be friends any longer with her. I didn’t read the letter so I only know what my mom “told” me. I am thinking this was just someone who did not like my mom’s MO and finally had had it.

We told her we would put her Christmas lights up but Hubby has gotten so busy that all we could have done on the weekend was come over Sunday and get the lights on the house. She got huffy and said if we couldn’t wrap the tree in lights (what takes the longest and is the hardest part) then forget it. Fine. I am really to the point that all I want to do is send her a Christmas card and have nothing more to do with her. I know Hubby wouldn’t mind. He said the other day he told a co-worker that when he first met me he wanted my mom to like him. Now he doesn’t care.

She was upset during the elections that she at our birthday dinner gathering (4 Bdays in October happen in our family) that she didn’t want to talk politics. Before we left for the restaurant she told us her friends, who are Muslim, were so frightened that they would be attacked for their religious beliefs now(Thank you Obama Haters…all your anti-Muslim talk which you thought would damage Obama’s campaign had these people in fear for their lives). So what does my mom do? Hides her head in the sand and can’t give a consoling word to them, even though she is good friends (was?) with them. This led to her “no political talk at dinner”…in fact, she would not discuss politics around her worried friends. What a friend! We were about to explain our view to her (their fears were unfounded and she should tell her friend that) but my brother and his wife showed up and my mom was off talking to them and the awful subject of politics was over (I believe she acted this way because she’s Republican and was feeling guilty-but any way you view it it’s sad she could not comfort her friend).

Lately when she calls me the first words out of her mouth are “Where are you?” or “What are you doing?”. When I tell her she has to ask more questions about it. It is supremely annoying. She seems to be desperate for human interaction and I just don’t want to deal with it anymore. She called while we were helping decorate the front entrance of our community. After the obligatory “What are you doing?” she starts telling me about what she has planned for Christmas Eve. She then asks “Is the Hubby free that night?” I ask and he reminds me he is working as “Santa”. I say to her “He’s doing Santa that night” and she shoots back with “What does that mean?” What do you think it means? I rephrased it as he was playing Santa and she was still confused. See? Not part of her little world. She of course gets miffed that Hubby can’t be there Christmas Eve. She thinks her social gatherings are more important than anything, so therefore, they should be more important to everyone else.

And I still relish the time when Hubby told her what he really thinks about how she acts and treats people when she asked. Just priceless. Of course, she was in tears and contrite but it didn’t last long. I get involved with our neighborhood HOA. She seems to take pleasure in talking about how she refuses to get involved with hers. Part of it seems to be the Bay Hill neighborhood she lives in where I know others have the same attitude as her: ignore it and let someone else do the work, or throw some money at it and you can forget about it.

I have let her walk all over me for years. I have always been the meek and mild child. My brother just tells her no. My sister is almost the same but also doesn’t live in Florida. I am the one who always wants approval from others and she was the closest one I could try and get it from. But after 39 years I’m tired of it. I now see the patterns of her actions and they are starting to disgust me.

And to think I could have paid a therapist to let all this out. 😉

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