Archive for the ‘stupidity’ Category

Gettin’ Refudiated

The term “douche nozzle” truly describes Sarah Palin.

Brightening Your Day

It only takes a little news story to brighten one’s day. Take THIS story from USA Today.

President Bush’s days in ‘Office’ are numbered
Only ‘Far Side’ sells more ’08 calendars

By Maria Puente
USA TODAY

Polls may show George W. Bush as the most unpopular president in modern history, but a different kind of measurement shows he’s the most popular president ever for selling calendars.

As the Bush presidency winds down, the Bush Out of Office Countdown 2008 desk calendar ($11.99) is winding up as the No. 2 humor calendar (behind The Far Side Scared Silly 2008 Wall Calendar) for the new year, according to Calendars.com, the largest purveyor of calendars online and at retail kiosks.

“They’re edgy and a way to mark the days, so it’s a perfect tie-in,” says Hillel Levin, general manager at Calendars.com. “The intensity of dislike (for Bush) is driving these sales.”

These poking-fun-at-the-prez calendars were popular last year, but they’re even bigger for 2008 — and there are more of them than ever.

“It’s become a category unto itself,” Levin says. There were no such calendars for other recent presidents — say, Bill Clinton or Bush’s father, George H.W. Bush. “This is a new phenomenon.”

The “This is a new phenomenon” sentence cheered me up so much. Just another article pointing out what a royal fuck-up our current President is. Everyone have a great day!

Pack It Up

So did everyone survive Christmas? I did with minimum of frustration and the spending of a little bit too much money. Here’s a festive little tale to tell:

It was Sunday and we hit the Y to work out (the one Down Town with the picture windows in the saunas…Hubba-Hubba!). After that we skipped over to the Marshall’s store in that plaza that used to be the Colonial Mall. Mark always checks them out because he often finds his favorite type of t-shirts there really cheap. There were two cop cars out front but since no one was screaming and running from the store we didn’t think much of it. As we entered there were two girls about 15 years old walking past us. Funny…they had their hands behind their back. Then we saw the cop walking right behind them. I turned and looked as they all passed by…and sure enough, they were in handcuffs.

I said to Hubby, “What the f*** is there at a Marshall’s store that’s worth shoplifting?” and then realized: They were just there getting their Christmas Shop-Lifting done!

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And there’s this wonderful story from out of LA I like to call “Yes Virginia, There Is A Santa Clause…And He Wears a G-String“.

G-String Santa Arrested On DUI Charge

LOS ANGELES — Some gifts from Kris Kringle are better kept wrapped.

A man in a Santa hat was arrested Sunday night for investigation of drunken driving after he was spotted outside Grauman’s Chinese Theater in Hollywood wearing a wig, a red lace camisole and a purple G-string, police said.

“We are pretty sure this is not the Santa Claus,” Deputy Chief Ken Garner said.

The suspect was booked into jail after his blood-alcohol level measured just above the state’s legal limit of .08, police said. He was later released on $5,000 bail.

The man, who is 6 feet 4 inches tall and weighs 280 pounds, also wore black leg warmers and black shoes. His car was towed to an impound yard, police said.

Dare I Say, “Going Down In Flames” Again?

I would say “Like sister, like sister”, But Ms. Spears little sister has dragged their family name further into the mud, and possibly for good.

When I first heard Jamie-Lynn Spears was pregnant I didn’t think much of it. I only knew she wasn’t psycho as her sister. Maybe she’s learned by watching the sad mess that is her older sibling. Good for her!

Until I found out the trampette is only 16 years old! The flood gates are opening and she (and the family) are going to have to weather a shit-storm from outraged religious and parenting groups. A co-worker even told me that their Mom was working on a book about parenting. Sweetie, better hit the delete button on that file. And I bet you Nickelodeon is not going to renew the teen program she stars in for another season. Hell, I bet the Academy is embarrassed for nominating the program for Outstanding Children’s Program in 2005 now.

There has got to be a double-wide trailer she and her sister can share now.

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Well, Christmas is almost here. I think I can finish it by purchasing one last gift…just gotta wade through the crowds at the Snobby Millinea Mall to get it. As the Hubby performs in the choir as many evenings as much as he can, I’ll have plenty of opportunity to get his gifts wrapped. Work has slowed down since the initial server dilemma, and with most of the executives off this week already, it’s getting quieter by the minute. And our company was even nice enough to give us the day before Christmas off as a paid holiday!

Coming soon: some pictures of the “kids” for Christmas.

GDIF Part VIII & Total Stupidity

Yes, another elected official’s career is effectively over unless he can prove his innocence in this. But how often does someone come back from a scandal like this if they do succeed in proving their innocence? Not very often that I can find. This one happened right down the street from me.

Central Fla. Mayor Accused Of Molestation

MASCOTTE, Fla. — The mayor of a small Central Florida city was arrested Monday on molestation charges, authorities said.

Mayor Jeff Krull, 66, was charged with six counts of lewd and lascivious molestation and one count of showing lewd and lascivious material to a minor, police Chief Steve Allen said.

Authorities said the alleged victims visited the mayor’s home to use his computer. It’s believed there were at least three victims, but Allen said an investigation could reveal more.

The mayor was taken to a hospital after his arrest because he complained of chest discomfort. Once released, he will be transported to Lake County jail on $65,000 bond, Allen said.

Krull’s fiance, Barbara Tillman, told The Associated Press that Krull, who has children and grandchildren, is thought of as a “grandfather figure” in their community.

“I know he is not guilty of ever harming a child like that in any way,” she said. “When the chief of police was arresting him, I thought it was a joke.”

Tillman said Krull does not yet have an attorney.

Stephen Elmore, a city council member, said he was informed of the arrest at a Monday night city council meeting.

“All I can say is that I hope very much that it is not true,” Elmore said. “I guess I’m stunned, like everybody. Everybody who works for the city and knows him is really surprised by this. I hope that it’s not true, that there’s some mistake.”

Krull was elected to the city council in 2002 and became mayor in 2006, according to the city’s Web site. He is up for re-election Nov. 13.

Mascotte, a city of about 5,000, is about 35 miles west of Orlando.

Now on to a Darwin Award nominee

LAKELAND, Fla. — Authorities in Polk County said a teenager is dead after shooting himself in the head during a game of Russian roulette.

A sheriff’s office spokeswoman said Joshua Matthew Braggs shot himself Friday. He died in a hospital Saturday.

The spokeswoman said no charges have been filed. The investigation is ongoing.

T-Shirt

Changing Meanings

Another bathroom sting went down yesterday netting 9 men, including a school teacher and a former elected official. It was over at a mall in Daytona Beach, Florida. Read this article first:

VOLUSIA COUNTY, Fla. — A group of men, including a former candidate for mayor and a high school teacher, was arrested on charges they performed sex acts or exposed themselves in a Central Florida mall bathroom, according to police.

Investigators said nine men were arrested Thursday night in a Sears department store men’s room located in the Volusia Mall.

“These men would go into the men’s room and they would tap their feet, zip their zipper, make all kinds of noises and even reach under the stall,” Daytona Beach Police Chief Mike Chitwood said.

The men arrested included SeaBreeze High School health teacher David Behringer and former city Commissioner Mike Shallow.

“The undercover officer told me he actually tried to come under the stall, where he was actually looking up at the undercover officer while he was performing his act,” Chitwood said.

A 70-year-old man was also arrested during the 10-hour sex sting, police said.

“The bothering thing is that you are coming up on the Christmas season, so you are out there shopping in the mall and your kid wants to run to the bathroom, you have a bunch of sick, degenerate, vile perverts in there doing their thing,” Chitwood said.

Officers said the sting was prompted by tips from mall security.

“Of course, everybody denies, (and says) ‘It wasn’t us,'” Chitwood said. “We certainly didn’t go there and entice anybody, and we didn’t put an ad out.”

Now read all the slogans Sears has used through the years (courtesy of Wikipedia) and see how appropriate each one now sounds.

Advertising Slogans

* Where America Shops For Value …and free sex in the bathrooms!
* There’s More For Your Life..at Sears …in the stalls…at night…
* Your Money’s Worth and a Whole Lot More ’cause the bathrooms are free
* Your Money’s Worth..and More Well, that depends whose on the other side of the glory hole, now, doesn’t it?
* Sears: You Can Count on Me …to be waiting in the second stall from the left
* Come See the Softer Side of Sears …and a 70-year old deviant in the bathroom!
* The Good Life at a Great Price. Guaranteed. You can’t beat free blow jobs!
* Sears: Where Else? Well, the bathroom at the rest stop usually has a lot of action, or the steam room at the “Y”…
* Good Life. Great Price. Gratuitous STD’s.
* Sears: Where It Begins …with a tapping foot and a hand under the stall wall.

Everyone have a good weekend…and stay out of the Sears men’s rooms.

Going Down In Flames VII

Todays’ sordid tale concerns another law maker who has dug his own grave. Here’s the story of Richard Curtis:

Police report sheds new light on Curtis encounter

Tuesday, October 30, 2007
By JEFFREY MIZE, Columbian Staff Writer

State Rep. Richard Curtis, R-La Center, admitted to having sex with a man he met at an adult video store in Spokane last week, according to a police report released Tuesday afternoon.

The police report offers a damning and far different version of events from the brief account Curtis gave to The Columbian Monday, one that seems likely to threaten Curtis’ political future.

The report is filled with graphic details of an encounter that began at a porn store on a Spokane Valley strip and concluded miles away in Curtis’ room at the city’s poshest hotel.

The police report contains an account of how Curtis allegedly donned women’s clothing, red stockings and a black sequined lingerie top before engaging in a sex act at the store. He continued to wear them throughout the night under his clothing.

Read the rest of the story HERE.

I see nothing wrong if you enjoy dressing up in women’s clothing. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with offering money to have sex with someone…hell…the government could make a mint from taxes by legalizing prostitution. But if you are going to go into politics and continue to do this, you are going to find yourself in a sticky situation sooner or later. His downfall was some guy trying to blackmail him.

Richard Curtis - Cock Gobbler

Now where did I put those marshmallows from the last fire?

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Just read Joe. My. God’s blog post about it…some great stuff on the story here.

Housing Woes Inevitable

There was a wonderful article in the Orlando Sentinel yesterday (Sunday). [Realted Story 1] [Related Story 2] It was part one of a two part series on how the housing market is bottoming out.

This article was focusing on all the foreclosures around the state. They are at records highs, and some areas are almost triple what they were the year before. What’s causing all these foreclosures? Well, there’s several reasons:

* Developers building as many homes as they can (Greed)
* Mortgage companies lending money to anyone they can without regard to the consequences (Greed)
* Investors buying up homes in hopes of flipping them (Greed)
* Home owners living way beyond their means (Stupidity)
* Realtors selling everything in sight (Greed)

So there’s plenty of blame to go around. And as home prices and interest rates began to go up, it all started crashing down.

Poincianna and Osceola county have been the hardest hit. Families defaulting on their loans and being evicted there, and all over Central Florida, are leaving homes sitting abandoned in neighborhoods all over…even in the uber-rich neighborhoods like Isleworth.

Developers have officially built more homes than people moving into the State. Who’s going to buy those homes? I haven’t a clue. The only good thing I can say is this will slow down the flood of New Yorkers and Ohions moving to the state. Because this situation is hitting the nation. The other most affected states are California, Arizona, and Nevada.

US greed has brought us here, people. If you own a home and are making your mortgage payments every month, then count your blessings. For everyone else who can’t, it looks like the apartment rental business will be cleaning up taking in all those evicted families.

Look It Up

You know how you hear a new word and you know the basic meaning of it by its usage?

Well, today’s words are: vapid and vacuous.

You see, we turned on Letterman the other night and he was interviewing Paris Hilton. He kept asking her about her prison stay until she was getting upset saying she wanted was there to talk about other things, not her prison time (“It was so long ago” I believe were her words). She then said she was sad she came on the show.

But she showed almost no emotion! She appeared to be on some heavy mood altering drugs…or maybe that’s the way she always acts: very soft voice and a clueless semi-smile on her face. The hubby suddenly said he now knows what the word ‘vapid’ means. And I followed that with the word ‘vacuous’.

(The full phrase that actually came to my head was a line from Stephen Sondheim’s Assassins where John Wilkes Booth calls Lee Harvey Oswald a “vapid, vacuous, non-entity.” The third term also describes her, too. So maybe Paris could be compared to a presidential assassin.)

Our First Nominee Is…

This schmuck has a few beers and decidees to put a rattlesnake in his mouth. I say he almost won top prize for this year’s Darwin Award.

Idiot